Fear vs Faith

There are many seasons of my life that I have had to check my fear at the door, and walk through with faith. 

1. Getting married ... truly was a faith step.  Just ask G!
2. Moving across the country (with so-said hubby) to a new province, church, career.
3. Miscarrying our baby in Ontario with no family close by
4. Moving from that province to another one ... QC, not the easiest province to immigrate to.  And immigrate is truly the word!
5. Losing our second baby
6. Diagnosed with depression
7. Losing baby #3 at 18 weeks, just after celebrating my parents 50th Anniversary bash.
8. Pregnant with Buddy and walking through daily fear vs faith moments ... fear gaining most of the points I have to admit.
9. 2007-birth of my precious, but the toughest year in bonding with both son and hubby
10. Gino starting his own business

This is not to lay out for you the trials of my life.  In fact, I am just starting to understand some of the few 'big' moments that really brought the faith vs fear notion to the forefront.  There have been a ton of times I have sat in my not-so-easy chair wondering the things that haunt my mind.  Were they things of truth?  What about pure?  And did I think of anything that was holy?  The mind is a powerful thing.  And once again, in this H1N1 season, I am battling with those thoughts.  Thoughts of fear and not faith in my God.  Things of anxiety and not promise.  Things that cause my heart to hurt and cause me breathing issues ... literally.  Remember those panic attacks I have had in the past?  Well, once again, I am having to re-process and deal with these things head on. 

And these days, the largest factor that makes the difference for me, is the concept of living in fear or faith.  Those moments of anxiety that may bring across not only emotional conflict, are now rearing their ugly head in the physical once again.  I'm starting to think that it's the only way I will deal with deeper, longer lasting and inevitably descrictive ways of doing life!!  Ya think?  If that's the case ... so be it!  Today, while dissecting the thoughts that haunt my mind, I am choosing ones of faith, NOT fear and understanding that the same God who created the moon, knows my weakness and strengths and loves me just the same.  (And typing them out here is porbably a bit therapeutic as well!)

How 'bout you?  What are your thoughts of promise today ... or maybe your battle is similar to mine.  Here's a few lines of promise I have on my fridge!!

Phil 4:6-9  (CEV)
6Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. 7Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.
8Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don't ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise. 9You know the teachings I gave you, and you know what you heard me say and saw me do. So follow my example. And God, who gives peace, will be with you.